I confess.
I've been off my writing schedule.
Instead of jotting down ideas or editing previous work, I've been writing personal letters, working on websites, and just taking care of home tasks. Even housework almost feels like guilty pleasures sometimes; writing as a professional takes hard work, attention to detail, and lots of energy.
It's good to balance that energy once in awhile. Do something physical rather than mental. Even creative projects take mental energy. Most times, creativity breeds more energy. But, sometimes, when pushing to meet deadlines, creative mental energy just drains writers.
The time to take breaks from writing is before you've gotten burned out.
Look at your life and your world without thinking of words. Insead of thinking "how would I write about this," just take in the scenery. Too often, writers have so many words running in their brains constantly, it almost becomes background static, like a radio tuned to nothing.
When you leave the house, leave your project behind. Don't carry it with you--in your hands, pack, or in your brain. Let it go. It'll wait a week or more.
Do a mixture of "must do", "need to do", and "want to do" tasks. If you take a writing break only to start your "must do" chores, you won't feel like you've really gotten any break. Consider the time much like a real vacation, when you've stuffed your luggage, held the mail, and just get away.
If you find writing or story ideas floating in your head, sure, go ahead and jot those down. Carry a blank notebook so you won't be writing on paper scraps that you'll lose. But don't work on the ideas, polish dialogue, or force yourself to write entire scenes. Just a few key words will help jog your memory for later. But you don't have to write it all during your break.
If you must do a little toward your writing craft, choose to read. Reading helps writers because we can see how others structure ideas and words. But don't read as though it's a job! Read for pleasure, to learn something new about people or places, or just read because a book is nearby. Read something you don't normally read. Comic books make for good relaxation. A cheesy romance might be something you never open, but many of those books contain nice location descriptions and enough sex to wake your biology. I'll pick up a mystery when I want a change from my non-fiction; I don't always figure out "who done it" but it's fun to use that side of my brain.
If you're waiting in lines (movie theatre, grocery store, etc.) and your mind drifts to your project, shift your focus to a related writing theme. For example, think about why you write, why you enjoy it (or hate it), why you do it, and what obstacles get in your way. Writers can lose sight of why they ever started writing in the first place. Take time to remember why you're word-possessed.
There's plenty of ways to really get breaks from writing. The key is to allow those pleasurable times, without letting your most recent project still be hanging onto you. Compartmentalize--stick your novel or other writing in a mental "box" and put it up on a shelf while you take time to do other things. Breaks won't destroy the work you've done, or destroy you. Instead, breaks will fill you with new ideas, new plans, and new energy to reume your project.
So, get out the dust rag and mop, tackle the attic, clean the garage... go out to the movies, see a play, have a picnic in the park... Just get away from writing and all the duties involved in writing. Make this week a "no writing zone" and--just like when you write--keep your agreements with yourself to do NO writing.
Then, after you've taken some days, a week, two weeks, re-commit to your project. Set reasonable goals for daily writing tasks. Think about the energy you found during your break, and turn it back toward your writing.
Judith
Friday, May 30, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Editing Tip: Prepositions
Writers find much fluff congeals around prepositions, especially when lengthy descriptions meet wordy thoughts. Check your writing and highlight each preposition. Look for series of these "helper" words. If you find many in one sentence, rearrange words so you can delete them.
Examples:
The mother took the hand of the little girl, who held the doll of her little playmate."
The mother took the little girl's hand, which clutched a little playmate's doll.
In reviewing the temperatures among small, uninhabited islands of the world, scientists found temperatures varied between them of about two degrees.
Scientists found an approximate two degree difference among the world's small, uninhabited islands.
Examples:
The mother took the hand of the little girl, who held the doll of her little playmate."
The mother took the little girl's hand, which clutched a little playmate's doll.
In reviewing the temperatures among small, uninhabited islands of the world, scientists found temperatures varied between them of about two degrees.
Scientists found an approximate two degree difference among the world's small, uninhabited islands.
above about across against along among around at | before behind below beneath beside between beyond by | down during except for from | in inside into like near of off on | since to toward through under until up upon with within |
Holiday weekends are great to do a few hours of editing tasks! Take your writing outside, get some sun and fresh air, and let the sun's rays zap extra prepositions from your work.
Have you found examples of prepositional barrages in other people's writing, such as in news stories on the Internet? If so, put them into a Comment and Submit them to this Blog!
Judith
Errors in Internet Journalism #1 Or, the difference between "pole" and "poll"
From "13 Questions with Hilary Duff, posted May 25, 2008:
"It's good to hear that the most memorable experiences aren't creepy ones.There was one weird thing in Venezuela that happened. Some guy got backstage [at a concert] and climbed up my lighting poll, and he was like dangling over me as I was about to start my song. He was waving their flag and screaming my name. That was kind of scary. I just walked off stage. I was like, "This guy is going to jump on me." He climbed up there like a monkey, so fast. But at the same time, I don't think he wanted to hurt me, you know?"
I think Hilary Duff would spell it "lighting pole."
Judith
Source: http://movies.aol.com/celebrity-interview/hilary-duff-war-inc?icid=1615984944x1203051177x1200309034
"It's good to hear that the most memorable experiences aren't creepy ones.There was one weird thing in Venezuela that happened. Some guy got backstage [at a concert] and climbed up my lighting poll, and he was like dangling over me as I was about to start my song. He was waving their flag and screaming my name. That was kind of scary. I just walked off stage. I was like, "This guy is going to jump on me." He climbed up there like a monkey, so fast. But at the same time, I don't think he wanted to hurt me, you know?"
I think Hilary Duff would spell it "lighting pole."
Judith
Source: http://movies.aol.com/celebrity-interview/hilary-duff-war-inc?icid=1615984944x1203051177x1200309034
Friday, May 23, 2008
Online Journalism Redundancy
A redundancy in writing can occur from different errors, including:
- Repetition of a word, phrase, or idea
- Catgory redundancies
--- example: boiling hot temperature (just say boiling hot... or just say hot)
- Duplicate descriptions that mean the same thing
I spotted a severe duplicate today in a photo caption.
"Just as her last photo controversy seemed to be but a faint memory, Miley Cyrus and her penchant for self-taking scantily clad photos of herself has struck again, as new photos of the 15-year-old star raising her shirt and posing in underpants have hit the community site LiveJournal."
Let's see... The words "penchant for self-taking scantily clad photos" means "of herself." If the writer did not mean "of herself," there would be no need to say "self-taking."
The writer (or editor) should have picked one and deleted the other. The sentence could have been written:
1./ Just as her last photo controversy seemed to be but a faint memory, Miley Cyrus and her penchant for taking scantily clad photos of herself has struck again, as new photos of the 15-year-old star raising her shirt and posing in underpants have hit the community site LiveJournal.
2./ Just as her last photo controversy seemed to be but a faint memory, Miley Cyrus and her penchant for self-taking scantily clad photos has struck again, as new photos of the 15-year-old star raising her shirt and posing in underpants have hit the community site LiveJournal.
Writer's tips:
Locating redundancies can be as easy as reading words out loud. Writers can also:
1./ Copy and paste one sentence, and enter a line break after every descriptive phrase. Read each as separate ideas. If an idea repeats, revise and delete any redundancy.
2./ LOOK for words with similar meanings.
3./ Be cautious about over-emphasis, where redundancies can easily slip into a sentence.
4./ Don't list several words from the Thesaurus when hunting for adjectives. Learn to describe simplistically and precisely. Even saying a man was "strong, muscular, and Herculean" becomes redundant because each describes strength. Instead, pick one.
5./ Make characters with opposing attributes: "He was muscular but unable to even lift his 40-pound daughter." This is probably one of the easiest ways to avoid adjective redundancy when creating character descriptions.
When editing, always read to pick up redundancies and re-write or delete them. Avoid having your publisher, editor--or even your reader--end up pointing out your repetition.
Judith
Source of quoted material:
FROM: http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/music-news-story/ar/_a/more-racy-miley-pics-see-daylight/20080523121109990001?icid=1615984944x1202945850x1200307242 (photo caption)
- Repetition of a word, phrase, or idea
- Catgory redundancies
--- example: boiling hot temperature (just say boiling hot... or just say hot)
- Duplicate descriptions that mean the same thing
I spotted a severe duplicate today in a photo caption.
"Just as her last photo controversy seemed to be but a faint memory, Miley Cyrus and her penchant for self-taking scantily clad photos of herself has struck again, as new photos of the 15-year-old star raising her shirt and posing in underpants have hit the community site LiveJournal."
Let's see... The words "penchant for self-taking scantily clad photos" means "of herself." If the writer did not mean "of herself," there would be no need to say "self-taking."
The writer (or editor) should have picked one and deleted the other. The sentence could have been written:
1./ Just as her last photo controversy seemed to be but a faint memory, Miley Cyrus and her penchant for taking scantily clad photos of herself has struck again, as new photos of the 15-year-old star raising her shirt and posing in underpants have hit the community site LiveJournal.
2./ Just as her last photo controversy seemed to be but a faint memory, Miley Cyrus and her penchant for self-taking scantily clad photos has struck again, as new photos of the 15-year-old star raising her shirt and posing in underpants have hit the community site LiveJournal.
Writer's tips:
Locating redundancies can be as easy as reading words out loud. Writers can also:
1./ Copy and paste one sentence, and enter a line break after every descriptive phrase. Read each as separate ideas. If an idea repeats, revise and delete any redundancy.
2./ LOOK for words with similar meanings.
3./ Be cautious about over-emphasis, where redundancies can easily slip into a sentence.
4./ Don't list several words from the Thesaurus when hunting for adjectives. Learn to describe simplistically and precisely. Even saying a man was "strong, muscular, and Herculean" becomes redundant because each describes strength. Instead, pick one.
5./ Make characters with opposing attributes: "He was muscular but unable to even lift his 40-pound daughter." This is probably one of the easiest ways to avoid adjective redundancy when creating character descriptions.
When editing, always read to pick up redundancies and re-write or delete them. Avoid having your publisher, editor--or even your reader--end up pointing out your repetition.
Judith
Source of quoted material:
FROM: http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/music-news-story/ar/_a/more-racy-miley-pics-see-daylight/20080523121109990001?icid=1615984944x1202945850x1200307242 (photo caption)
Thursday, May 8, 2008
HEADLINE
Pedophile Suspect Caught in New Jersey, by DAVID PORTER, AP. Posted: 2008-05-08 15:47:48 Filed Under: Crime News, World News (on AOL). NEWARK, N.J. (May 8) - "Wayne Nelson Corliss, 58, was arrested Thursday morning in his Union City apartment. He is suspected of sexually abusing at least three boys from Southeast Asia thought to have been 6 to 10 years old, according to the international police agency."
Few issues rile my senses as much as child abuse. Millions of faceless, nameless victims suffer child abuse every day in the USA. Many more millions suffer atrocities throughout the world. These defenseless children need more adults to stand up, become their voices, their advocates, their protectors.
Child abuse has, unfortunately, been inflicted for centuries. Although we've made some progress, no community or country has managed to stop abuse.
Recently, Interpol has appealed to the public in order to catch their most wanted criminals. Mr. Wayne Nelson Corliss, 58, of Union, New Jersey, was Interpol's most recent appeal. He is accused of sexually abusing young boys, ages 6 to 10 years, in Southeast Asia. This particular area of the world, as many other overseas countries, has a high percentage of very young girls and boys being abused by adults who should protect them. Television undercover specials have shown roomfuls of these children, as middle-aged men come to look over the "goods," haggle about prices, and eventually, have their way with the child (or children). Their pimps (their abusers) loudly proclaim which 5-year olds know how to perform oral sex, and which have yet to have intercourse. The children speak openly about what they can do--what they know of sex! No little girl or boy should ever see adult genitalia for the purpose of adult gratification. Sadly, these children see far too much for their young eyes.
The children--from some of the poorest countries and neighborhoods--know very little of a "normal childhood." Whether their parents permitted them to enter the sex industry, or pimps procured orphan children, none of the minors have access to any adult courageous enough to stand strongly between the child and the forthcoming abuse.
If the Court finds Mr. Corliss guilty of the charges raised against him, I believe the punishment should be strong--and swift. Unfortunately, often the Courts only punish with very short minimum sentences.
It's time for the World to revise sentencing of child abusers. Sexual abuse of minors demands life sentences, especially when victims are pre-teen, and mandatory restitution to the abuser's victims. Every cent a convicted abuser earns should go to the children they hurt. Victims certainly receive life sentences of many "abuse issues" that plague them throughout their lives. Powerless, helplessness, shame, poor self-image and body image, and the perception of a lack of future are only some of the problems child abuse victims suffer through adulthood.
The past has shown that "counseling" and "aversion therapy" fails to rehabiliate sexual abusers. Studies support that little helps change pedophiles' thinking and behaviors.
Neighbors and friends of Mr. Wayne Nelson Corliss expressed disbelief that this supposed kind and witty man could ever do such evil and vile acts against children. Unfortunately, kindness and personality have little to do with identifying who will or will not abuse minors. Children become victimized partly because the abuser's outward demeanor seems "so nice." Pedophiles would be easier to spot if they acted like people expect abusers to be: someone vile and evil. Society must recognize, finally, that even "the nicest," "most giving," and "very sensitive" adults (both men and women) can (and do) hurt our children.
When society finally wakes up, realizes the harm abusers do, and become ready to enact stricter punishments, maybe then parents can rest easier, knowing that any convicted abusers will stay in jail until they die. And, possibly, abusers will take notice that acts against children will cost the abusers their own lives if they choose to victimize a minor.
Congratulations Interpol. And, thank you to the thousands of citizens who called and E-mailed their tips in this case.
Judith
Pedophile Suspect Caught in New Jersey, by DAVID PORTER, AP. Posted: 2008-05-08 15:47:48 Filed Under: Crime News, World News (on AOL). NEWARK, N.J. (May 8) - "Wayne Nelson Corliss, 58, was arrested Thursday morning in his Union City apartment. He is suspected of sexually abusing at least three boys from Southeast Asia thought to have been 6 to 10 years old, according to the international police agency."
Few issues rile my senses as much as child abuse. Millions of faceless, nameless victims suffer child abuse every day in the USA. Many more millions suffer atrocities throughout the world. These defenseless children need more adults to stand up, become their voices, their advocates, their protectors.
Child abuse has, unfortunately, been inflicted for centuries. Although we've made some progress, no community or country has managed to stop abuse.
Recently, Interpol has appealed to the public in order to catch their most wanted criminals. Mr. Wayne Nelson Corliss, 58, of Union, New Jersey, was Interpol's most recent appeal. He is accused of sexually abusing young boys, ages 6 to 10 years, in Southeast Asia. This particular area of the world, as many other overseas countries, has a high percentage of very young girls and boys being abused by adults who should protect them. Television undercover specials have shown roomfuls of these children, as middle-aged men come to look over the "goods," haggle about prices, and eventually, have their way with the child (or children). Their pimps (their abusers) loudly proclaim which 5-year olds know how to perform oral sex, and which have yet to have intercourse. The children speak openly about what they can do--what they know of sex! No little girl or boy should ever see adult genitalia for the purpose of adult gratification. Sadly, these children see far too much for their young eyes.
The children--from some of the poorest countries and neighborhoods--know very little of a "normal childhood." Whether their parents permitted them to enter the sex industry, or pimps procured orphan children, none of the minors have access to any adult courageous enough to stand strongly between the child and the forthcoming abuse.
If the Court finds Mr. Corliss guilty of the charges raised against him, I believe the punishment should be strong--and swift. Unfortunately, often the Courts only punish with very short minimum sentences.
It's time for the World to revise sentencing of child abusers. Sexual abuse of minors demands life sentences, especially when victims are pre-teen, and mandatory restitution to the abuser's victims. Every cent a convicted abuser earns should go to the children they hurt. Victims certainly receive life sentences of many "abuse issues" that plague them throughout their lives. Powerless, helplessness, shame, poor self-image and body image, and the perception of a lack of future are only some of the problems child abuse victims suffer through adulthood.
The past has shown that "counseling" and "aversion therapy" fails to rehabiliate sexual abusers. Studies support that little helps change pedophiles' thinking and behaviors.
Neighbors and friends of Mr. Wayne Nelson Corliss expressed disbelief that this supposed kind and witty man could ever do such evil and vile acts against children. Unfortunately, kindness and personality have little to do with identifying who will or will not abuse minors. Children become victimized partly because the abuser's outward demeanor seems "so nice." Pedophiles would be easier to spot if they acted like people expect abusers to be: someone vile and evil. Society must recognize, finally, that even "the nicest," "most giving," and "very sensitive" adults (both men and women) can (and do) hurt our children.
When society finally wakes up, realizes the harm abusers do, and become ready to enact stricter punishments, maybe then parents can rest easier, knowing that any convicted abusers will stay in jail until they die. And, possibly, abusers will take notice that acts against children will cost the abusers their own lives if they choose to victimize a minor.
Congratulations Interpol. And, thank you to the thousands of citizens who called and E-mailed their tips in this case.
Judith
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Example Line Editing (exercise)
New writers may wonder what "line editing" means. It consists of an editor reading -- line by line -- for any mistakes. These may be obvious ones--such as a misspelled word or improper use of a "sound alike" word. Editors mark cliches or overworn phrases as well. Editors at this stage also look at punctuation and suggest fixes. For example, in dialogue, the comma always sits within the last quotation mark, rather than after it.
I thought I'd use a well-known piece to show errors an editor might look for and mark (for the writer to correct). Read through the Gettysburg Address and mark the errors you find. Just highlight the Address, put it in Notepad so you can easily change whatever you notice. (Don't use Word for this exercise, since the program will note the errors. Try to do this exercise without help from a spellschecker or grammar program.
At the end of this post, I'll include the correct version. No, no peeking!
Version WITH ERRORS
The Gettysburg Address, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, November 19, 1863
For score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all mene are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testting whether that nation, or any nation so concieved and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who hear gave there lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fiting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger cents, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say hear, but it can never forget what they did hear. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated hear to the unfinished work which they who fought hear have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather bee fore us to be hear dedicated to the great task remaining bee fore us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, fore the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Did you find the errors?
If you think you found them all, your last task is to read it through again. This last read-through helps to make sure you caught everything.
CORRECT VERSION
The Gettysburg Address, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, November 19, 1863.
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
When you compare the original with your corrected version, did you find all the errors?
These are the types of tasks writers should do on their own work before submitting to a publisher. However, it never hurts to hire a line Editor and ask that they review your work again. It's well worth the money if it helps you get published.
Judith
I thought I'd use a well-known piece to show errors an editor might look for and mark (for the writer to correct). Read through the Gettysburg Address and mark the errors you find. Just highlight the Address, put it in Notepad so you can easily change whatever you notice. (Don't use Word for this exercise, since the program will note the errors. Try to do this exercise without help from a spellschecker or grammar program.
At the end of this post, I'll include the correct version. No, no peeking!
Version WITH ERRORS
The Gettysburg Address, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, November 19, 1863
For score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all mene are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testting whether that nation, or any nation so concieved and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who hear gave there lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fiting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger cents, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say hear, but it can never forget what they did hear. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated hear to the unfinished work which they who fought hear have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather bee fore us to be hear dedicated to the great task remaining bee fore us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, fore the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Did you find the errors?
If you think you found them all, your last task is to read it through again. This last read-through helps to make sure you caught everything.
CORRECT VERSION
The Gettysburg Address, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, November 19, 1863.
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
When you compare the original with your corrected version, did you find all the errors?
These are the types of tasks writers should do on their own work before submitting to a publisher. However, it never hurts to hire a line Editor and ask that they review your work again. It's well worth the money if it helps you get published.
Judith
Monday, May 5, 2008
Editor for Hire
Writers may struggle for months to years with putting their ideas into words. Later, after letting the work sit (hours for short pieces - months for book-length works), writers can attempt to do basic editing. Tip sources suggest writers first look at their:
Therefore, most seasoned writers and writing teachers preach:
No writer can edit their entire work successfully.
Writers need a fresh pair of eyes to spot mistakes, not only in structural errors but in logic, organization, and flow. Sometimes, what I think is most important to include in a piece is the same passage other writers question or suggest I should delete.
Moving From Writer to Editor
I've helped other writers over the years to edit their works, usually as a member of writer groups (or friends who needed to spit and polish their writing). I'd never considered doing editing as a job, though, something others might pay me to do. However, I've recently crossed over from a friend-editor to semi-professional editor (semi-professional meaning, I don't work for a publishing house).
I'm excited by my new role! I know I can help writers see their words more clearly and express those ideas in better ways. I have the patience to spot the missing comma (line editing) and the ability to recall--and notice problems with--the structure of what I'm reading (organization / flow). If a writer tells a reader that the tablecloth was blue--and it changes in Chapter Three to being green, I'll notice. When pronoun refer back to the wrong person, it grates on my reading "ear". When a phrase sits in the wrong position in a sentence, my reading eyes notice and my brain tries to switch the phrase to the correct position. When a writer uses "that" to refer to a person (my grandmother that baked bread), I automatically want to fix it and insert "who" - as a matter of fact, my brain screams WHO, WHO, WHO!
If you'd like me to review your work, please E-mail me. Tell me the length of your work and genre. I'll give you a sample edit of 5-pages, and return it with my quote. We'll agree on a price and method of payment. Fees must be paid in advance.
I work best with non-fiction, autobiographies, biographies, historical, self-help. Note: I will not be able to check facts or double-check research within this editing. If you want that type of review, however, inquire and I'll let you know if I can do the work.
I do not accept the following types of work: Pornographical; works in which abuse of children or other vulnerable persons is the central piece of non-fiction (abuse intended to titillate); Science Fiction (my reading ears never quite get the far-out names of characters); hate speech / hate writing; heavy religious topics.
If you want a strong review and critque...
If you want suggestions to improve your work..
If you want help making your ideas clearer...
Then contact me.
Judith
-spelling errors
-grammar
-sentence structure
-organizational problems
Therefore, most seasoned writers and writing teachers preach:
No writer can edit their entire work successfully.
Writers need a fresh pair of eyes to spot mistakes, not only in structural errors but in logic, organization, and flow. Sometimes, what I think is most important to include in a piece is the same passage other writers question or suggest I should delete.
Moving From Writer to Editor
I've helped other writers over the years to edit their works, usually as a member of writer groups (or friends who needed to spit and polish their writing). I'd never considered doing editing as a job, though, something others might pay me to do. However, I've recently crossed over from a friend-editor to semi-professional editor (semi-professional meaning, I don't work for a publishing house).
I'm excited by my new role! I know I can help writers see their words more clearly and express those ideas in better ways. I have the patience to spot the missing comma (line editing) and the ability to recall--and notice problems with--the structure of what I'm reading (organization / flow). If a writer tells a reader that the tablecloth was blue--and it changes in Chapter Three to being green, I'll notice. When pronoun refer back to the wrong person, it grates on my reading "ear". When a phrase sits in the wrong position in a sentence, my reading eyes notice and my brain tries to switch the phrase to the correct position. When a writer uses "that" to refer to a person (my grandmother that baked bread), I automatically want to fix it and insert "who" - as a matter of fact, my brain screams WHO, WHO, WHO!
If you'd like me to review your work, please E-mail me. Tell me the length of your work and genre. I'll give you a sample edit of 5-pages, and return it with my quote. We'll agree on a price and method of payment. Fees must be paid in advance.
I work best with non-fiction, autobiographies, biographies, historical, self-help. Note: I will not be able to check facts or double-check research within this editing. If you want that type of review, however, inquire and I'll let you know if I can do the work.
I do not accept the following types of work: Pornographical; works in which abuse of children or other vulnerable persons is the central piece of non-fiction (abuse intended to titillate); Science Fiction (my reading ears never quite get the far-out names of characters); hate speech / hate writing; heavy religious topics.
If you want a strong review and critque...
If you want suggestions to improve your work..
If you want help making your ideas clearer...
Then contact me.
Judith
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Who That?
I often cringe with reading items on the Internet. It seems a generation (or more) has yet to understand the difference between using "who" and "that" in sentences.
I forget HOW my grade school teachers taught me the rules governing "who", "that", and "which" (we'll get to "which" another time). But, I remember knowing that I understood. I got it. Back then, it was simple to tell the difference: When my classmates used a "that" when it should be "who", it sounded like squeaky chalk dragged across the blackboard. Using the right one of the two made little disturbance, much like the old padded erasers the teacher moved quickly across the huge slate blackboard.
I think many students today feel indifferent about the rules for using "who" and "that". They face so much disrespect, anger, and violence from so many directions in life, who can blame them for thinking "who - that" choices are much fussiness about nothing.
Yet, if students FELT the wrong choice as disrespect, maybe they would care more. Calling a person (a noun or pronoun) as "that" IS very disrespectful. Few people would want to have themselves called a "that" (would you want to be a "that"? I doubt it.) "Who", on the other hand, places persons in positions of respect. "he who..." "my grandmother who..." "my best friend who..."
TIP: If you have trouble picking correctly between "who" and "that" in sentences, try this. In each sentence, insert your name, and pick between he or she (whichever gender you are).
(Your name), who worked a good job, wanted time off.
The teacher praised (your name), who submitted the best essay in the class.
TIP: Also, look at speeches and statements made by important people.
Let's use Benjamin Franklin for "that":
I think opinions should be judged by their influences and effects; and if a man holds none that tend to make him less virtuous or more vicious, it may be concluded that he holds none that are dangerous, which I hope is the case with me. Letter to his parents (c. 1728) as quoted in Benjamin Franklin: An American Life (2003) by Walter Isaacson
I've lived, Sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing Proofs I see of this Truth — That God governs in the Affairs of Men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his Notice, is it probable that an Empire can rise without his Aid? Speech to the Constitutional Convention (1787-06-28) Manuscript notes by Franklin are preserved in the Library of Congress.
The art of concluding from experience and observation consists in evaluating probabilities, in estimating if they are high or numerous enough to constitute proof. This type of calculation is more complicated and more difficult than one might think. It demands a great sagacity generally above the power of common people. The success of charlatans, sorcerors, and alchemists—and all those who abuse public credulity—is founded on errors in this type of calculation. Benjamin Franklin and Antoine Lavoisier, Rapport des commissaires chargés par le roi de l'examen du magnétisme animal (1784), as translated in "The Chain of Reason versus the Chain of Thumbs", Bully for Brontosaurus (1991) by Stephen Jay Gould, p. 195
Let's turn Martin Luther King, Jr. for "who" in sentences:
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice.
But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds.
There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?"
And one more MLK, Jr. for "that":
This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
Here are my examples:
Nouns / pronouns require "who."
Non-person object nouns / pronouns require "that."
I hate to point a finger at particular Internet users, so I'll alter a couple sentences I found.
Correct use of "that" --
It'd be cool if you could make an online birthday party for your grandmother that we could all attend - a cyber party!
Wrong use of "that" -- (two instances)
You should not criticize a mother that is trying to do the best she can, especially with all the mothers in this world that abuse and make their kids miserable.
Correct use of "who" --
Mothers who work outside the home have more hectic schedules with their children.
(Correct) Mixed use of "who" and "that"--
You can tell your grandmother, who would never suspect a party, that you'll show her how chat rooms work.
I like editors who write editorials that not only express editors' own opinions, but ones that highlight a politician's arguments.
"That also" refers to groups:
The television stations that broadcasted the obscenity were fined.
The crowd taunted the team that hit the fewest home runs.
TIP:
Remember, "who" displays respect for persons.
"That" points to objects and groups.
Judith
Sources:
Benjamin Franklin. (various sources)
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Benjamin_Franklin
Martin Luther King, Jr. I Have A Dream. Aug. 28, 1963
http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm
I forget HOW my grade school teachers taught me the rules governing "who", "that", and "which" (we'll get to "which" another time). But, I remember knowing that I understood. I got it. Back then, it was simple to tell the difference: When my classmates used a "that" when it should be "who", it sounded like squeaky chalk dragged across the blackboard. Using the right one of the two made little disturbance, much like the old padded erasers the teacher moved quickly across the huge slate blackboard.
I think many students today feel indifferent about the rules for using "who" and "that". They face so much disrespect, anger, and violence from so many directions in life, who can blame them for thinking "who - that" choices are much fussiness about nothing.
Yet, if students FELT the wrong choice as disrespect, maybe they would care more. Calling a person (a noun or pronoun) as "that" IS very disrespectful. Few people would want to have themselves called a "that" (would you want to be a "that"? I doubt it.) "Who", on the other hand, places persons in positions of respect. "he who..." "my grandmother who..." "my best friend who..."
TIP: If you have trouble picking correctly between "who" and "that" in sentences, try this. In each sentence, insert your name, and pick between he or she (whichever gender you are).
(Your name), who worked a good job, wanted time off.
The teacher praised (your name), who submitted the best essay in the class.
TIP: Also, look at speeches and statements made by important people.
Let's use Benjamin Franklin for "that":
I think opinions should be judged by their influences and effects; and if a man holds none that tend to make him less virtuous or more vicious, it may be concluded that he holds none that are dangerous, which I hope is the case with me. Letter to his parents (c. 1728) as quoted in Benjamin Franklin: An American Life (2003) by Walter Isaacson
I've lived, Sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing Proofs I see of this Truth — That God governs in the Affairs of Men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his Notice, is it probable that an Empire can rise without his Aid? Speech to the Constitutional Convention (1787-06-28) Manuscript notes by Franklin are preserved in the Library of Congress.
The art of concluding from experience and observation consists in evaluating probabilities, in estimating if they are high or numerous enough to constitute proof. This type of calculation is more complicated and more difficult than one might think. It demands a great sagacity generally above the power of common people. The success of charlatans, sorcerors, and alchemists—and all those who abuse public credulity—is founded on errors in this type of calculation. Benjamin Franklin and Antoine Lavoisier, Rapport des commissaires chargés par le roi de l'examen du magnétisme animal (1784), as translated in "The Chain of Reason versus the Chain of Thumbs", Bully for Brontosaurus (1991) by Stephen Jay Gould, p. 195
Let's turn Martin Luther King, Jr. for "who" in sentences:
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice.
But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds.
There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?"
And one more MLK, Jr. for "that":
This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
Here are my examples:
Nouns / pronouns require "who."
Non-person object nouns / pronouns require "that."
I hate to point a finger at particular Internet users, so I'll alter a couple sentences I found.
Correct use of "that" --
It'd be cool if you could make an online birthday party for your grandmother that we could all attend - a cyber party!
Wrong use of "that" -- (two instances)
You should not criticize a mother that is trying to do the best she can, especially with all the mothers in this world that abuse and make their kids miserable.
Correct use of "who" --
Mothers who work outside the home have more hectic schedules with their children.
(Correct) Mixed use of "who" and "that"--
You can tell your grandmother, who would never suspect a party, that you'll show her how chat rooms work.
I like editors who write editorials that not only express editors' own opinions, but ones that highlight a politician's arguments.
"That also" refers to groups:
The television stations that broadcasted the obscenity were fined.
The crowd taunted the team that hit the fewest home runs.
TIP:
Remember, "who" displays respect for persons.
"That" points to objects and groups.
Judith
Sources:
Benjamin Franklin. (various sources)
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Benjamin_Franklin
Martin Luther King, Jr. I Have A Dream. Aug. 28, 1963
http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm
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