Two Good Reads

Steve & Me: Life With the Crocodile Hunter (Thorndike Press):

If I had to rename Terri Irwin's book, I'd title it: The Layers of Persons' Lives: Steve and Terri Irwin. "Steve (and) Me: Life With the Crocodile Hunter" (Thorndike Press) is chock full of surprises, delights, plus much practical information about Australia, its wildlife, customs, traditions, and conservation efforts.

It should not surprise anyone to hear Terri Irwin's intelligence. But, I think many readers will be surprised. She "starred" on the television shows with her husband and daughter, Bindi, too few times (in my opinion) and many people might under-estimate Terri by her short TV narrations. But reading her book shows without question Terri Irwin's depth of knowledge about wildlife and her adopted homeland. She writes ~beautifully~. It's delightful--although painful--to read in her own words the transitions she made in her life, from single and woman protecting wildlife, to meeting Steve...falling in love...hoping he'd call...certain he would not...to visiting him a second time...to their wedding...

Delights continue with reading her first-person accounts of Stevo, her first treks into the bush, how she learned about the land and animals--and of course, her descriptions of Steve and their private and public lives. Terri --and Steve-- were never just two bumpkins running a roadside animal attraction. Both have a sixth sense about animals that Terri describes so well in her writing. But the backdrop for many fans will always be the fairy tale romance these two favorite persons shared. Chance meeting---fate? Yes, fate--with a destiny, a purpose, a life's purpose these two wildlife warriors shared, valued, pursued.

Terri leads readers along her journey into Steve's world, the world she would soon share. The trip she describes, however, also educates readers about Australia's bush and animals. Much of the terrain, the country itself, makes a fascinating read. She takes along on many of their private, and scientific, journeys, and introduces different animals and reptiles much as speaking of special and loved persons. Readers can feel the bumps on the trip along the fenceline...and hear the ocean at the end of their long trip. There's also realistic mentions of horrors mankind commits against poor, defenseless animals. As nasty as these stories are to stomach, Terri shows Steve's and her own passion to protect the wildlife the entire Irwin family has long loved.
Yes, The Layers of Persons' Lives would make a suitable subtitle. Terri Irwin certainly writes eloquently about those layers, in Steve and in herself.

Readers should expect to smile, to laugh, to cringe, to cry...to feel informed, included, engrossed...and to sob, deeply, as Terri finally describes Steve's death and how she and her family have grieved along the way. Her book will certainly fullfill readers' expectations--and much more than they expect.

Just a lovely book, Terri. Lovely. All best wishes in the coming years.

***

**********

***

The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch:

First, I'm not a friend, student, or family of Professor / author Randy Pausch.

Having read the 1-star, 2-star, and 3-star reviews on amazon.com, I felt a bit shocked. I liked the book much more than other reviewers who criticize the book for having more ego than depth, and less lessons of "the dream"--- minus a demand for a public journey through "My God, where art thou, my God." I don't think Dr. Pausch's book needs to include his personal beliefs about God (whatever those beliefs are--or are not) for this book to impart some lasting wisdoms.
Part of the beauty of the slim treasure, "The Last Lecture", is in its brutal simplicity.

Sometimes, people need reminded of the basics: Say please and thank-you; Wash your hands before you eat; Don't be purposefully mean--or rude--to others; Play nice; Dream Big; When you lose your dreams, STOP, refind them, enjoy them, LIVE them. Randy Pausch didn't include all those--I think he skipped the "wash your hands" one (LOL). But, he presents short reminders of very basic, simplistic, meaningful rules of living. In today's world of rudeness, meanness, random murders...(etc)..., I don't think these are meaningless topics to include in a person's "last book".

Could it have been more in-depth? Yes, I guess so. Yet, if I was dying, would I have the composure to write ANY words of meaning? What would any of us say if we had the chance to write and publish a book? If you could write 10-pages before you die, what would YOU include?
Randy Pausch describes "The Last Lecture" as 53 mini-lectures, and I think that is fitting. The book itself, I believe, would make great reading for our children ...pre-teens, teens, young adults... the people who need reminded to have manners, to dream (a lot), and work hard toward those dreams. I'm also quite impressed by the "Alice" program which Dr. Pausch created.

I thought it touching to hear a man describe writing Thank-you notes, even to the hospital workers who have treated him these last months. Too few of us stop to say thank-you. Randy reminds readers how much more meaningful it feels to receive a written thank-you.
I chuckled to read about his sewing endeavors-- and how he worked so hard to win the REALLY BIG stuffed animals at fairs---and more importantly, WHY it felt so important to him to win those.

This little book makes a big window into the thinking of a big dreamer (a very positive trait), a man intelligent enough to see bigger than most people ever see, and to allows readers to gain just a little understanding about how one man lived his journey--his life.

I do wish Randy Pausch had explained more about how everyday people can use the "head fake" in everyday situations... how people can positively manipulate to achieve positive outcomes in everyday relationships.

I think the Professor has much, much more to teach--this book offers the first lessons. Maybe, he'll be able to write book #2. I wish I'd been one of his students.

Judith

Note: The ampersand, in Terri Irwin's book title, is unacceptable to this blog's features, thus, it was changed to (and).

Bye to by?

By. This little word causes wordiness for almost every writer. However, as in other situations, writers must judge whether to rewrite "by" phrases. Not every "by" must be exterminated, although rewording can eliminate numerous and unnecessary examples.

unfairness by men

suffered X accompanied by Y and Z
suffered X, Y, and Z

prejudice by society and professionals
society and professionals' prejudice (sometimes you'll need to change the noun = prejudices)

caused by allergies
allergies cause (or caused)

People feel shocked by touching live electrical wires.
Live electrical wires shock people.

By the time, ...
When...

A child must learn to tie shoes by him or herself.
A child must learn to tie shoes independently.

scholarly texts by professionals
professionals' scholarly texts


Highlight every "by" in your writing and determine which ones can go bye-byes. Aim to wave good-bye to half and wave a pass to the other half.

Once you get to 50%, go through the text a second time and cut some more.

Judith

$10 unlimited data plan?

According to AOL Mobile: "$85,000 Cell Phone Bill No joke: A Canadian man was hit with an $85,000 cell phone bill after buying a new phone and what he thought was a $10 unlimited data plan. While Piotr Staniaszek imagined that tethering the phone to his laptop and downloading to his hearts delight was kosher, wireless carrier Bell Mobility had other ideas.

The service provider informed the oil worker that using the phone as a modem was not covered under his plan, and it proceeded to charge him on a per-kilobyte basis. As a token of "goodwill," the company eventually lowered the bill to only $3,243. Something tells us Staniaszek wasn't impressed by the evil corporate discount..."


Wow! I'm always amazed at how many people want to get something for nothing--or who fail to understand their limitations and responsibilities in contacts. Despite that lawyers write contacts with too much confusing legalese, consumers can become informed. It only takes a few well-planned questions.


"What is covered on "a $10 unlimited data plan"? What is specfically exluded?"

"Can I hook my cell phone to my laptop and use the phone like a modem?"

I'm sure Bell Mobility would have answered, avoiding any possible misconceptions.


Moral of this story: Ask every question you might have before signing a contract and paying your money. Then, call companies with any questions that come to mind later.


Here's a useful link for anyone who drives and owns a cell:

Cell Phone Driving Laws by State


Judith

Errors in Internet Writing

We have all winced over Internet articles with clear grammatical issues, poor punctuation, and lousy writing overall. The worst ones, to me, will always be news items since I grew up believing the AP writers were gods with unlimited power to convey facts. Almost every newspaper item in my small hometown back in childhood always started with "AP, city, date --."

In this post, I will note mistakes, misguided phrases, and missing logic that I see in Internet writing. Please add your own examples in the comment section, and stop back to check this post because I'll add to it over the months.

Warning: All is fair game. That includes my own writing! I hope you'll join me at listing the errors you find in different sources.

FIRST
Semi Slams Into Chicago Train StationBy KAREN HAWKINS,APPosted: 2008-04-26 06:47:25Filed Under: Nation News. From:http://news.aol.com/story/_a/semi-slams-into-chicago-train-station/20080425211209990001

"Reed and other witnesses stood disbelieving as the truck wedged inside the stairwell. If it hadn't been for a delay at work, Reed, a 30-year-old bank security officer, said he could have been one of the victims."
MY COMMENT: Who or what are those people disbelieving? The way it's written, it sounds as though they are disbelieving the truck. The sentence simply sounds awkward as written. Also, "...stood disbelieving as the truck wedged inside the stairwell" seems inaccurate, since the truck is already wedged, therefore "as" seems incorrect as written.
MY CORRECTION: 1. Reed and other witnesses stood in disbelief, staring at the truck wedged inside the stairwell. 2. Reed and other witnesses stared in disbelief at at the truck wedged inside the stairwell. Actually, I like my sentence #2 best. It cuts out unneeded words and makes the point clearer.

.... from the same article...
"The man was not under arrest or had been charged with anything as of late Friday, said police spokesman John Mirabelli."
MY COMMENT: The sentence lacks balance, all because the writer picked "or" as the connection.
MY CORRECTION: 1. The man was not under arrest, nor had been charged with anything as of late Friday, said police spokesman John Mirabelli.
Note the addition of a comma before nor. It certainly sounds better, except the "with anything."
2. The man was not under arrest, nor had the police brought any charges as of late Friday, said police spokesman John Mirabelli.
Again, I like my 2nd revision the best, as often happens when editing. Each time you reword a thought, you bring new opportunities for clarity and better wording.

TIP #1: Each time you spot a mistake in someone else's writing--or notice a sentence that just does not sound right--copy the sentence into a file or paper notebook. Take five minutes to state what you think hurts the sentence. Then, rewrite it to cut the error or enhance clarity. The more you edit--any writing--the more you will develop an editor's eye with your own prose.

***

I forgot my top pet peeve. Windows' first screen proudly announces "Windows is starting UP" (emphasis added). Everytime I see it, I want a data eraser for UP. "Windows is starting" would be sufficient for most non-Microsoft morons.

***

May 12, 2008:
In all defense of news editors in this instance, posting breaking news for the public is a fast-paced job. However, editors must review what they post online or write for other sources. Here is a simple spelling error that should be difficult to over-look.

Posted caption: "Patients rest at a tempory aid station in Chengdu after they were evacuated from a hospital." (Shown under a photo from "Liu Hai, Xinhua / AP" and posted at http://news.aol.com/story/_a/nearly-10000-perish-in-china-quake/20080512061409990001?icid=1615988631x1202234151x1200304382)

"Temporary" has only one spelling. It's not even a sound-alike error. This should never have gotten past the Editor.

Part of the problem with "Internet News" is how infrequently (and poorly) any editor reviews previously posted items. Likely over 80% of the initial news items posted online remain in some archives or cache, complete with the original errors. How do we expect school students to learn the art of editing and re-reading copy if professional writers and editors overlook this task? When someone reports I made a typo on one of my websites, I make sure to go into the file, correct it, and re-upload the page.


May 15, 2008 - example of "to" and "too" mix-up used in professional news -

"China sends more copters to quake-hit area" From CNN.com/Asia
"Aftershocks at times forced rescuers to turn away from the fallen buildings, leaving crowds frustrated without knowing the fate of loved ones. Video from one disaster scene shows a woman clinging to a crane after rescuers suspended a mission at a crumbled building, deeming the site to dangerous to enter."
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/05/14/quake.thursday/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

The sentence should read "...deeming the site too dangerous to enter."


And, from the same article, a poorly written sentence resulting in too many commas and overall confusion... "Wang Guangfen, a nurse, climbed under a cement slab to give the girl, He Cuiqing, medicine, while other rescuers carefully moved slabs until they could remove the girl."


Although technically correct, readers become confused when several short interrupting words or phrases break into the sentence. The writer could have used two sentences, especially if more information was known. For example: The girl, He Cuiqing, had become dehydrated during her ordeal. Wang Guangfen, a nurse, climbed under a cement slab to give the girl urgent medicine, while other rescuers carefully moved slabs until they could remove the girl.

Also the writer could have chosen a different word, rather than use "moved" and "remove" so closely. For example: Other rescuers carefully lifted slabs to a nearby pile, until they could remove the girl. Again, not technically wrong, but the sentence feels derailed with two closely sounding words used too near each other.

****

Finding Stutters in Your Writing

Read the following news story and find the one thing wrong in it.

=

FROM: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/politics/sns-ap-mccain-snl,0,7492008.story?track=rss

Posted at 02:35 PM ET, 05/18/2008 McCain's SNL Appearance: 'Oldness' as a Plus

FORT WORTH, Texas -- Sen. John McCain (Ariz.) took his turn on NBC's "Saturday Night Live" last night, poking fun at his age and his longtime fight against pork barrel spending:
"I have the the courage, the wisdom, experience and, most importantly, the oldness necessary [to be president]," McCain said.
-----

Did you spot the problem?

It's here: "I have the the courage..."

Errors DO happen. But, every writer--at any level--needs to use grammar and spell checkers. It's very easy for duplicates, especially "the the" to enter writing and for writers (and their editors) to overlook this (supposedly) obvious error.

In a general sentence, duplicate words or phrases make the writer look unprofessional. But, when the error appears in a quote, especially in a news story, the mistake makes the writer and editor look like amateurs. Online news networks and editors for their websites must become more observant about what they put online, even at deadline, even if their offices are hectic, even if it's a busy news day. Our children (and grandchildren) receive most print information today from the Internet and need excellent examples of journalism. But, unfortunately, errors seem to be more the norm than people think.

Here's another example I spotted today, from celebrity reporting:

FROM: http://www.parentdish.com/2008/05/19/gwyneth-paltrow-no-trust-funds-for-her-kids/

Gwyneth Paltrow: No trust funds for her kidsby Sandy Maple May 19th 2008 3:03PM
Categories: Money & work, Celeb kids, Celeb parenting

When celebrity chef Nigella Lawson announced that she wasn't planning to leave her children a penny of her considerable fortune, she was roundly criticized. Convinced that financial security ruins people, she says she wants her kids to learn the value of money by actually working for theirs.

You can add actress Gwyneth Paltrow to the list of wealthy celebrities determined not to let their kids have a free financial ride. Like Lawson, Paltrow believes kids need to learn to work and that a guaranteed trust fund fortune looming the the future can inhibit the desire to do that.

-

The sentence should read: "Like Lawson, Paltrow believes kids need to learn to work and that a guaranteed trust fund fortune looming in the future can inhibit the desire to do that. "

=

Same problem, different site.

When writing your novel, your non-fic, your proposal and query, your website, or even just your daily Blog, DO run checkers. Read your words OUT LOUD--your eyes don't always see what your ears hear. After any edits, run grammar and spell check again even if you don't have time to re-read the section out loud.

Be as professional as possible in your writing -- and in your editing.

***

Come back often to check this post.

Judith

Brains with curves!

It isn't news, but it's still exciting. My brain has curves (so does yours!). I've known this before, but it's been easy to forget. Only when I look at a new problem, learn a new skill, tackle a confounding issue, or solve what seemed impossible do I really feel (see?) the curves my brain possesses. Make that learning curves. Like physical exercise, the more strenuous the terrain and steeper the hills, the more a person can feel the definition of brain "muscles."

Tonight, my brain curves feel as sleek as well-toned calves leading to trim ankles, or muscular biceps to well-defined shoulders. An ankle bracelet, and straps slightly off-shoulder work best here...

Maybe it's only because I've been ill several weeks and mummified under blankets and cough syrup. Maybe it's because I haven't touched this project in four months. Whatever, it feels like I entered a competition, never expecting to be anywhere near the front of the pack, and surprised myself by coming in within the top. No, I didn't race anyone, or race at all--I just competed against myself on a mental project.

Two years ago (hmmm maybe three?), I set my sights on building a site. My first attempt at a web page and a website looked fairly plain and barely there. Slowly, I learned better HTML and how to use colors and background images. I finally had a site... Quickly, they grew to four sites in the intervening years.

At the end of last year, for my fourth website, I finally wanted to try External CSS. I cheated a little here--a nice woman helped me create a template (yes, I thanked her!). It looks so pretty that it made me re-evaluate my first website.

I have a section on that first web that deals with one city (it's a genealogy website). Two years ago, I took the easy way when I no longer wanted to use a middle image on a triple-border website. I just added the word "disabled" to the link for that image. Later, I disabled a second image. Frontpage (my HTML WYSIWYG editor) keeps track of all thoe broken links (thank goodness, and drat! -- depending on which pages). I've accummulated about 1,000 "disabled" background image links! Yikes!

It required a simple fix: Put the codes into External CSS and take out the Embedded CSS. Yeah, simple. Not quite so simple when I'm still unsure what each CSS command means. Changing images for backgrounds, for me, means switching one at a time until I find which item goes where. It's worse than Pin the Tail on the Donkey. At least then, the blindfold gives me an excuse for being so slow and imperfect. No blindfold blocked my work today, just ignorance slowing me down. When I figured it out, it felt like I had won First Place on a tough marathon or important test!

Of course, CSS always needs "one more thing" done. And, of course, I still need to copy all those problem pages (oh no!). But now, I'm closer to having my CSS template done (yeah). And the learning curve that earlier today seemed so steep feels easier. My brain is awake! Thinking! Planning! Conniving! My brain has curves -- and boy, does it feel wonderful!

Judith

Writing & Illness

This winter has not been the greatest. My latest ailment: pneumonia. It's zapped my energies, taken my motivation, and reduced my work output to almost nothing.

From January to March, I reviewed about 50,000 words as I evaluated, edited, and cut my lovely prose. Then, mid-March, my ability to avoid viruses failed me. I got hit and hit hard. I've been lucky if I accomplish 2-hours of good work each day, compared to 10-15 hours normally.

It's discouraging. As a writer, the largest amount of apparent productivity shows itself in writing, editing, re-organizing, etc. Notice I said apparent productivity. But, almost equally, writers must spend an equally large amount of time thinking, planning, hypothesizing, mentally clarifying, and....well, dreaming. This is true productivity, even without one word written. Thinking time goes on throughout a project, from weighing a subject's viability to how to best present ideas to publishers. Planning also involves the same things, but especially the writing plan. Hypothesizing and clarifying cost the most time --if writers really want to write well---as they debate their own subject. Does the subject have merit? What arguments must I address (non-fic), or characteristics must I present (fic)? How can I better say this point, this sentence, this word?

When both apparent productivity and true productivity suffer, such as during illness, writers struggle to get back on track. I know I feel I'm slacking and not doing enough "real work."

My remedies may be old-hat to other writers, but maybe my stategies will help someone.

1./ I must remind myself that writing (and the dreaded editing) develop life -- an ebb and flow that cannot be forced.

2./ Writing often reflects life. If illness and fever overcome brain cells, that comes into the work, usually expressed as NO writing, no editing, and even an indifference to the project. Any other life crisis affects the craft in similar ways. Few people pick up a pen immediately when ungoing acute phases after the illness onset, after a death occurs, or even after some small life difficulty. When we can breathe again, that's when the pen becomes part of healing.

3./ Develop a work ethic to write at least an hour a day (or some other part of the project) even when ill. You may not get much done, but you've kept your hand there in its middle.

4./ Do not make MAJOR editing changes, however. Your fever might lead you to cut wonderful words!

5./ Illness makes a good time to just read your book. Mark spots that you need to re-read later. **NOTE: You must avoid self-criticism now, however. Illness clouds how you perceive your work and yourself.

6./ Read someone else! Reading is as much a part of writing as pen and paper (or Word and a keyboard). I've read Terri Irwin's book about her husband, Steve, and Randy Paush's book The Last Lecture riveted me from beginning to end. I also watched other Pausch lectures online (YouTube). He's so inspiring. No, not because Randy's dying, but because how he lives, how his mind works. I think Steve Irwin, Terri Irwin, and Randy Paush are three top enthusiastic, contagious, educating, entertaining, and --people use this word too often!--wise people I've enjoyed in my life. Talk about cutting through the crap to REAL issues and emotions. Each have done so, and done it well.

7./ Reassure yourself when ill that you WILL return to the project when you feel better. Writers cannot help themselves. Words must follow words.

8./ It only seems life has stopped. It only seems as if you've been ill for "forever". Illness often forces us to take the break we refused to give ourselves when well. So, enjoy the time off life forced upon you. No, you may not get paid during this time. But you will be RECHARGED!

9./ Help someone else now. Give a critique. Edit someone's small work. Don't over extend yourself.

10./ Write personal letters. Reconnect to friends and family, and to your "other" life away from writing.


When you begin to feel better, approach the work fresh, as though today is the first day you started writing. Jot down any thoughts you had about your project when ill, and keep these in mind as you re-start your work. You may need to scan or re-read your writing or a portion of it. Start slow. Avoid feeling overwhelmed. Re-acquaint yourself with your own words and thinking. Note spots you might need to change--later. If you see a problem easy to fix, such as a typo, fix those as you start re-reading. Work up to working full time again rather than pushing yourself too hard and too fast. Try to incorporate into your writing now what you gained from your time off, your thinking then, and any insights or ideas you learned.


If writers learn to use illness or life crises as times to re-generate, the experience and time off can only improve their writing.

Judith

Do you have tenacity?

Would-be writers may not realize in the beginning that they need tenacity to do the job of "writer". But, every writer needs tenacity, almost above all other writing skills and traits.

Tenacity in writing is similar to having a painful or bothersome splinter that insists someone take care of it. The splinter produces an ache or pounding sensation, as it continues to swell and redden each day. The slightest touch reminds you of its presence. Though such a tiny thing, it hurts as though a knife dug into the flesh.

Words must be placed onto paper; an idea must birth itself through scads of paper or multiple computer "pages." If truly engrossed in writing, Writers hardly notice such things as word and page counts, and never notice until they face the editing process. Words fill sentences that fill paragraphs, until an article or booklet or book forms from itself. Sometimes, writers forgo sleep, food, and any other interest, just to spend time writing! Hours pass. Days pass in similar pursuits. The splinter aches too much to ignore.

We find ourselves annoying the splinter that annoys us. We rub it, press it, squeeze it (gently!). We scrape a nail edge across the spot where we think the miniscule splinter punctured the skin. Unable to see its edge sometimes, we still try to grasp it between nail edges or tweezers. We scrape some more. IF ONLY we could grasp the smallest piece. IF ONLY we could pull it, twist it, lift it, slide it forward. We DIG. Yes, we dig into layers of skin, trying to excavate where the splinter tunneled inward. We think if we tunnel enough, we can force the invasive thing out of us. Like writing, though, often we fail to even touch the real words we wish we could say. Although thoughts slide from us sometimes, more often splinters are raised only with the biggest battles, the most trying hours, and most annoying pain. Yes, it requires tenacity to dig out hard to grasp splinters, and tenacity to grasp a single idea and place it into words and images others will easily understand.

Writing has more than one "tenacious" part, whether it's finding a precise word or simply continuing to work on the writing craft. Each day, mental processes must open creatively. Brain cells become dictionaries. Only when we cannot think of the word we wish do we then turn to real dictionaries as books or online databases. Writers now can even find rhyming dics online - what wonderful choices we have today! And, sometimes, even references cannot help us find words for just how we wish to communicate and describe. What agony.

How much tenacity do you have as a writer? Do you --

• Sometimes ignore "real life" to write?
• Write until you can't think, or hold a pen / type one more letter?
• Wish you could search for definitions--how YOU want to say something--just to find ONE word that fits the best?
• Become aggravated when metaphors fail?
• Always think you could do better--so you try again tomorrow?
• Believe you have something worthwhile to say, if only you could SAY it?
• Know you must communicate via writing, so your Being insists you WRITE?
• Do you stick to writing and editing tasks long past when your non-writer friends would have given up?

If these describe you, your writing tenacity is high. It's hard to ignore splinters you get, but once you have one, you must do something about it.

Judith

I remember high school assignments in which teachers instructed the class about using "I" in term papers. Some teachers wanted students to use "I" to show how each student interpreted research and quoted material. Other teachers forbid the use of "I", insisting a student use "we" as the designated pronoun. At the time, students wanted to sound so scholarly. "We" seemed a small price to gain that effect, although confusing to use.

High schools and colleges still recommend ditching "I" in term papers. However, writers can do without this personal pronoun in most writing.

Writers should DELETE most of these. An alternate is listed for a few.

I would also add that = In addition
I cannot believe X did Y =Seemingly, X did Y
I must say
I wonder
I think
I believe
I feel
I hope
I saw

I also need to say (that), =DELETE
I also understand =DELETE
I participated =participating, DELETE ‘I’
I (just) wanted to let you know that =DELETE


Even if the type of writing can sustain use of "I", writers should evaluate each one to see if they can rewrite sentences using "I", especially wherever the repetition becomes frequent.

Judith


I do feel that =I feel
I can remember =del ‘can’
I myself = I

(Misc.) Could someone tell me, am I "normal"?

I have a few secrets. I know that's normal--everyone has secrets about themselves and their lives. So, why do people act as if they hide nothing they hope no one else finds out? Why do the simpliest secrets cause such embarrassment and shame? Why do we hide behind words like "a few secrets," when we know we keep many more than a few?

My big secret for today isn't such a big deal -- well, I don't think it is that terrible.

Except for Canada, I have never been outside the USA. I've never visited another culture, tasted the foods from their hearths, heard their artists' music coming from their radios, and never spoken heart to heart with anyone not on my soil. I've never looked someone in the eye who could easily see me as an outsider in his or her country. I've never looked upon the Atlantic ocean, imagining looking West to America, or East across the Pacific as I'd try to picture the West Coast of the USA.


I have a wish-list of places I'd love to visit (weather permitting and all -LOL):

• Well I know Alaska is in the USA, but it's so far away, it might as well be "overseas." I'd love to see a whale.
• Australia - Queensland area. I'd LOVE to visit the Australia Zoo. I wish Steve Irwin was still alive. He was the only person I thought had an over abundance of enthusiasm! I'd like to meet (big) Bob, Terri, Wes, Bindi, and (lil) Bob. I'd like to feed a crocodile--uh, as long as it's still a BABY croc.
• The western coast of central America supposedly has 70-degree weather year round. I'd love to experience unchanging weather--well, relatively unchanging per the barometer.
• Ireland - Doesn't everyone wish to visit the Emerald isle?
• Germany - I think everyone MUST visit a concentration camp. We must never forget the tortures Nazi Germany did to human beings.
• Inca ruins - I feel such a pull to that part of history--who knows why!

These places aren't necessarily country-specific, but hold my fancy...

• If it was ever possible, I'd love to have the skills and courage to be lowered into the deepest ocean spot, Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench 35,840 feet) below sea level. See a 3D Flyover of the deepest spot in the ocean.
• I'd need even more skills, I think, to drop into deep caves. (I hate the thought of being buried alive or drowning... so these first two locations bring tons of anxiety-no pun intended!)
• I'd like to try to find Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster.
• Big Foot can come sit at my camp fire as long as he/she poses for my camera and doesn't hit or bite. I wonder what first word Big Foot would teach ME? The first word I'd try teaching--- FRIEND!
• Haunted houses fascinate me. I'd like to spend the night in a certified haunted building.
• A weekend spent in a 1700s fort (replica) would certainly hold many lessons for me. Besides history, there'd be plenty for humility, patience, gratitude, honor, perseverence...
• In my hometown and the city where I live now have many multi-story old frame buildings that used to house department stores on the first floors, and offices or storage above. I'd like the keys to every room and be allowed to roam where I please.
• If there's a barn, warehouse, old house full of OLD stuff, I'd like permission to explore and take away whatever objects and photographs I'd want.
• I want to live in a lighthouse. Not sure how long I'd stay, so don't write up the lease!
• I want the best metal detector and ground penetrating radar so I can visit the lands of my ancestors... Wonder if I could find graves (maybe theirs?).

So, okay, I've never been out of the USA. But I certainly keep an active imagination as I plan going to all these other spots! Certainly other people have never been overseas, too. You? Please tell me I'm normal !

Judith

Editing: Reasoning of Redundancies

Redundancy: repetition which makes wordiness
Redundant: exceeding what is needed or natural


HIDDEN REDUNDANCIES

Redundancies become sneaky problems in writing. Some hide themselves so skillfully, it makes one wonder what happened to brain cells during that writing spurt! Others stick out so obviously--at least if a writer looks for them. One that becomes hidden might be:

interactions with others

By definition, interaction means some communication or engaging with others.

Conversely, "Mary spent time talking..." needs some clarification. Was she talking with others, to others, to herself, or to no one in particular?


SOCIAL REDUNDANCIES

Some redundancies come from social programs and professional writing. For example, medicine and nursing, along with lawyers, started using: advance planning / advanced planning.

To plan means to decide "in advance." We do not plan for the past. We plan for the future, in advance of doing. Therefore, we need to change advance planning / advanced planning to = plan, planning. Writing combines many second words with "advance" to create similar problems.

advance forward
advance notice
advance warning

Each of these simply needs the second word to stand alone.

A writer could make my last sentence redundant by changing it to this: Each of these simply needs the second word to stand alone, by itself. Unless a writer wants to add emphasis, and the writing clearly needs the emphasis, be wary of linking a repetitive phrase to words with similar meaning.

RIDICULOUS REDUNDANCIES

Some redundancies sound ridiculously funny when writers realize what they wrote.

Maggie sat inside listening to a car zipping by outside.

That's clearly redundant but writers often miss it. A car can ONLY zip by OUTSIDE, unless your child has built a raceway through your apartment's hallways!

A car zipping by outside awoke Martin from his nap.

The above is still redundant (for the same reason), but it might slide by unnoticed because Martin could also be outside taking his nap. Here, I'd leave "by outside" in the sentence, unless another I inserted another clue for Martin's location.

A car zipping by awoke Martin from his nap. He rolled over toward the half-open window and looked out.

Writers must learn to control the information they give writers. Just as a writer wants readers to see, feel, smell, etc., writers also do not want their readers bogged down in repetitive description.

LEGALIZESE & COMPOUND REDUNDANCIES

Many compound repetition arises from legal wording, in which a writer (or lawyer) tries to cover every contingency. The simple fix, usually, is to pick one, whichever fits the writing and purpose best.

always and forever = pick one
and also = use either and or also but not both, etc.
and etc. = etc. OR use either and or also but not both, etc.
anything over and above this =anything more
authorize and direct = pick one


EMPHATIC REDUNDANCIES

Children read some compound forms in fairy tales, or stories where writers desired emphasis.
The king wanted each and every citizen’s loyalty.
The king wanted every citizen’s loyalty.
each and every one =each, every, all

We speak redundancies as attempts to prove our truthfulness.

John professed his undying love, affection, devotion, and connection to Joyce.

If Joyce needs that much reassurance, John has little chance in coming years!


Lastly, initialisms cause redundancies, especially when new phrases enter speech.

4WD drive - (i) Four Wheel Drive =write 4WD (or it reads “Four Wheel Drive drive”)

ATM machine = (i) Automated Teller Machine =write ATM (or it reads “Automated Teller Machine machine”)


These are only some forms of redundant writing. Others are trickier to spot, but quickly fixed.
The tickets cost only 12.00 for 4 people, or $3.00 per person.


Can you identify why these repeat?

inner feelings

imagine a picture

surrounded on all sides

written document


As you learn to "hear" redundancies when reading your own writing, you will be surprised how many you will spot. Soon, you'll notice when newscasters use them, or when newspaper editors missed them. For any writing, read each sentence critically. Have you (or the writer) said what was intended? Does a phrase stand out as silly when you re-read it?

Watch for direction - location writing.
"He looked up toward the sun" has a redundancy.

Watch for "who" after nouns and pronouns.
Joyce was a person who liked marshmallows. = Joyce liked marshmallows
He is a person who never enjoyed housecleaning. = He never enjoyed housecleaning.
*Note: Correcting "who is" constructions also rearranges passive voice to active voice.

Strive for clarity, rather than repetition!

Judith

Editing: Using the Article "The" in everyday writing

A word just as small as "not" is the common article "the". "The" applies itself to universal English circumstances, in both singular and plural situations.

The problem with "the," however, is how much it creeps into everyday writing and in unneeded places. Many scholarly writers (psychologists, as one example) tend to overuse "the" as though it becomes a living part of sentences. It becomes especially evident in discussing emotions... the anger ...the sadness... the pride.

It's not that writers never need "the". Instead, writers must become more aware of when--and why--they use "the" in a particular spot. Writers must evaluate whether a sentence would read better with an "a" or an "an" instead of a "the".

If a writer wants to specify ONE item, ONE object, and no other but that specific one, the writer would use "the".

A mechanic showed the car owner the bill. (one specific person)
A mechanic shoved the unpaid bills into a ledger. (plural objects; "the" can be deleted here ) -or-
A mechanic shoved unpaid bills into a ledger.
A mechanic shoved the car owner's unpaid bill into a ledger. (one specific person)

Above, a writer could easily use "a" or "the" in front of mechanic, depending on what the writer intends to convey. "The" usually points to ONE specific person, object, thing, event, day, and so on. "A" can be used for singular also. Here are rules govering use of articles: http://depts.gallaudet.edu/englishworks/grammar/aanthe.html

Now, the nifty thing about "the," even more than "a/an," sometimes writers can DELETE those extra "the" words! Yes, SOMETIMES writers can evaluate then CUT them out.

the emotional times
The country faced the emotional times with bravery.
If you intend to point to A SPECIFIC "emotional times" then leave "the" in the sentence.
If it could be ANY emotional times, drop "the".
The country faced emotional times with bravery.


The mothers shared the available resources with each other.
The mothers shared available resources with each other.

The hippies spoke of the love of fellow man during the 1960s.
The hippies spoke of love of fellow man during the 1960s.


Anytime you use "the" before an object or intangible item, such as an emotion, try the sentence with and without "the".

Also, watch for "the" combos in a prepositional phrase. You might easily change the phrase to a possessive phrase and cut "the" as well.

The struggles of X =X’s struggles (where X is a noun or pronoun)
Her struggles
Tom's struggles
President Bush's struggles

The legacy of X...
Her legacy
George's legacy
President Bush's legacy

Read sentences beginning with "The" to see if you can reword and DELETE "The".

Attempt to delete at least 25% of extra "the" constructions. If you use "the" in 3-word phrases, and attempt to cut even one, those deletes do add up to considerable wordiness!

Some "the" phrases can be changed to one or two words, with no loss of meaning.
The irony was =Ironically
the idea of =thinking of, thoughts of
the same as =similar to
the value of = X's value (or just DELETE)

The occurs frequently in passive constructions. When rewritten to active, "the" disappears.
Y was the focus of X = X focused on Y (X=noun, Y = object of sentence)
take the actions =act as

Try to delete your extra, unneeded "the" words. See how far above 25% you can cut. I'm sure you'll end up deleting much more.

Judith

Editing: When your "not" makes longer prose

"Not," it's such a tiny word, but one that can bulk writing and lead to hours of editing time.

So, what's so wrong with saying "not"? I do not like you. I do not love you. Sounds direct to me!

Yes, most sound direct. But some deceive the writer's eye and reader's ear. "I dislike you (3)" shaves two words from "I do not like you (5)." Writers must review each "not" construction and decide several things:

1/ Is there a shorter way to say it?
2/ Is the meaning the same if the writer shortens the wording?
3/ Does the phrase fit the tone and intent of the writing?


Most college and professional writing instructors caution to phrase negatives as positives. They believe writers appreciate positively stated prose, especially directions. "Do not write in pencil" becomes "Only use blue or black pen." Subtly, readers feel better to read what they CAN do, rather than what they cannot (should not) do.

Have you reviewed your text for "not"? If not (oops there it is), do it now. Highlight every NOT you used. First, change the contractions (yes, you need to do this).

am not
cannot (no, it is not "can not")
could not
do not
had not
have not
is not
will not
would not
not only...but also (if you use not only, you must use but also)

Here's an interesting and so convoluted way to construct a sentence: Attorney Michaels loved preparing for cases not yet tried before a jury (12). Hmm, cases not yet tried before a jury. On the surface, it sounds fairly sophisticated! With a close look, though, the construction shows its own stupidity! Attorney Michaels loved preparing for upcoming jury cases (8).

Indeed, many "not" phrases will have you rolling your eyes and laughing hard enough to at least spill that cup of coffee. Somehow, "not" paints us into corners in prose. Once we use "not," then we need supporting verbs and adverbs to hold it up, sometimes on both sides. He reacted calmly and did not feel. He reacted with unfeeling calmness.

Sometimes, writers just need to locate the opposite:

not consciously = unconsciously

Often, writers simply replace the "not" with generic descriptors before the verb, such as lacked, failed, never, and change the verb to an -ing ending.

did not understand =lacked understanding

Do you have a particularly convoluted "not" construction, or one that sounds extra silly or stupid? Add your "nots" to the comments section.

Writing: Rules

I found some writing rules on the Internet and wrote a few of my own!

'Is' will be 'was' someday, but neither should be overused now. When combined with "it," your verb needs a lift.

"It is" should never be.

When the is's and was's abound, an action verb should be found.

Force are's and were's from the page by creating an active phrase.

Shelly was possessive of her cat when Shelly's cat cuddled close.

Shelly's boyfriend, Apostrophe, and the boyfriend's mother shared a common possessive trait.

When Shelly dropped Apostrophe, she was free to date many boyfriends without a mark.

Singular nouns only match singular prounouns. A singlular noun never dates a plural prounoun. Be a careful matchmaker. [April 22, 2008: Did you catch my typo in this paragraph? No? Oh well, too late! LOL]

He or she can never be they or their.

Never write vice versa or write both opposing sides in one sentence.

Never write "etc. also" when only one will do.

"The [noun]" tries to make sentences sound profound, when writers don't want "the" hanging around. (The available resources limit how much churches help the poor people. =Available resources limit how much churches help poor people.)

Send me your examples.

Judith

Writing: My current project & goals

Having cranked out books before, I never stopped to consider what a book needs to make it from my hand to the public. Before, I thought all writing had a place simply because they are words important enough to a writer to set onto paper. However, I've learned much since my earliest days of arrogant writing.

Now I know words important enough to make it to paper are also words dear enough to require rewrites. Polishing one word, one sentence, one paragraph takes more time than the writing took! But that's a big part of the craft, having patience to review E-V-E-R-Y word and evaluate whether it's a keeper. Sometimes I like the words, but the sentences stink. Sometimes, I'm in awe about the sentence "idea" but the words cannot support an ant on stilts. Often all I need are some rocks to anchor thoughts and give them some weight. Sometimes, all I need are a few broad leafs floating between rocks to make my words convey thoughts from one spot to another in the current. Unfortunately, though, a lot of my ants drowned while I floundered about where to place a rock and where my weightless leaves would fall.

By far the hardest task for me has been finding all the ways to cut words. When I hit onto a formula (xyz =b), editing moves fast. But few pages submit to formulas, either in writing or editing. Yet, I admit to secretly looking for every formula I can find to help me know just WHAT to edit, what to cut, what the heck to do with so much writing that now sounds like... crap.

No, I swear I didn't write crap. I didn't set out to write it that way. But after the 101st edit, look-see, browsing for trouble, one's one words start to sound no more interesting than cow dung in a barren field at the coldest part of winter. Even the steam has long ago dissipated from what I thought had sizzled when I wrote it. The uneven spots that looked so interesting in my head now just look as compelling as a flattened pancake from the cow's back end.

The good thing about editing, though, is how eventually you've got to turn your attention back to the front end, the side where things went into writing, got chewed, and twisted until ready to give nourishment. Looking at the front end again, I decide that at least the cow does have two ends, and possibly, just maybe, if I feed my writing a better blend of food, I can salvage what I already wrote. Maybe it's not all cooled, lifeless cow dung.

The problem remains that no cow will ever tell me which parts of my writing suit which part of the cow. At some point, I just have to stop editing and let the damn cow out to pasture, let it see the sunshine, and let others see it.

That's probably, in one swooping motion, the worst--and best--part of writing. If only I wasn't so convinced that others would only step in cow pies, maybe I'd be more excited to open the barn door wide and let the cow roam.

Judith

Join Yahoo group: Authoring-Strategies-Author-Help-Support

After being a long-time member of writing groups, I've decided to plunge in as moderator of my own group.

Come visit and join Authoring-Strategies-Author-Help-Support at

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/authoring-strategies/

Description for Authoring Strategies / Author Help and Support gives new and experienced authors a place to share writing, obtain critiques, learn the writing craft, and polish drafts. Come learn and share your knowledge among supportive writers. Writing tips welcome. Seek non-fiction and fiction, poetry, short stories. NO X-rated content allowed.

I know I've struggled with various writing and editing issues, so I'd love to help other writers with tips I've learned. Equally, I'd appreciate the experiences other writers have had in polishing their words and finding publishers.

Drop by and join us... well, today it is join ME. LOL.

(Article) Internet Litter

Internet Litter breeds as much as crushed coffee cups stuck to unused--albeit now filthy--paper napkins.

Litter begins innocently enough. Family (F) or friends (FF) send you an invite to the coolest, hippest, newest social space, expecting you'll be as excited by the trend as they. Or, more common, the sender receives 200 points / a black mug with saying / another coolie gift for signing up as many F or FF as they can in 5 hours or less.

Unsuspecting--or, many times just stupidly--the "invitee" just says "what the Hell" and clicks the registration link and so begins another case of Internet Litter.

Symptoms of Internet Litter

1/ You have one or more screen names/ User IDs floating on websites in which you have NO interest;
2/ You have signed up but no longer remember the websites;
3/ You receive mail from websites but no longer remember WHY;
4/ You feel too embarrassed to opt out, lest one of your friends finds out.


It must be done

The only ways to stop Internet Littering require COURAGE, bold faced, gut-wrenching bravery. Open that mailbox and search for old emails from now-forgotten (they never were so memorable) webs. Get the URL and visit ONLY to find the links to CLOSE THIS ACCOUNT. If you can't find a link, write to Customer Service and tell them to close it ALL. Ahhh, but they offer pink PJs with 50,000 points--so what! Who cares! Can the site! Lose it. Get away. There's something better for you...just waiting... get out NOW!

Second, you must make a NO PLEDGE. The next time you get an invite, just say NO. No, no, no, no, NO! It doesn't matter that the site offers 5,999,899,999 zillion bytes of photo space-- say NO. It doesn't matter if they promise to find the Alien who birthed your 5th great grandmother--just say it, NO, no, no. None of it matters.

You must streamline. You must end this Internet madness. Try it.

No.
No, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no........ it gets so easy! Such freedom!

If you think I am insane, do a search on Google for the UserID you use the most. Uh huh, I bet you never realized how much you litter.

Now, search (manually) the Cookies on your PC. See all those places you signed into that, now, you don't even remember!! Yes, it's bad, very bad. It's an illness, a plague. Take your life back--NOW. Swear to end Internet Litter! You'll be so proud.

(Article) Do you remember......

Do you recall the first teacher who asked you to memorize a poem to recite before the class?

Do you remember that first creative public speaking engagement?

Had you known the poet before that day? Or did you quickly adopt a writer your mother or father loved?


I'd always heard how my mother loved some lady named Elizabeth Barrett Browning, for some poem mom failed to recite accurately (and never repeated her mistake). All of 9 years old, I felt sure I could remember the words, even if mom had not.


Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)
from Sonnets from the Portuguese
XLIII

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men might strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,–I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!–and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.


Somehow, reading that dampened my memorizing spirit! It simply did not fit the front of a grade school classroom, even with coming snickers.

Although much longer, albeit much easier too, a slim book called The Kitten Twins served the purpose I needed. And, so much more interesting for a child who loved cats and kittens!

The Kitten Twins
There were two little kittens
with eyes of blue
One was named Twinkle
And one was named blue.

They tried to be good
And do what was right
But they got into mischief
From morning to night.

When Grandma was knitting
And dropped her yarn ball
They snatched it and dragged it
Way out in the hall.

It rolled down the stairs
Like a fire-ball of red
With the twins rolling after it
Heels over head....

The poem continues for 20 pages, but since it is under copyright, I'll have to stop here.

You can read another of my childhood favorites here: http://freepages.family.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~florian/schools/lovelylady.htm


So, what was the first poem YOU memorized?

(Article) Research: Internet Almighty?

I remember those afternoon trips to the public library to do "research" for those 10-15 page school papers, with evenings spent fighting whichever sister was hogging our family's only dictionary. My oldest two sisters finally got smaller versions, leaving the big dictionary to the younger kids who had no need to carry words in pockets.

The Internet has made such ease for writing with a quick check of spelling and word alternatives. Need a fact to punch up a story, or need to check facts you'd swear true? No problem, just check online. The Internet boasts millions- billions of every source imaginable.

Yet, the Internet misses the distinct flavor of library research, when students had to actually read an expert to find that one precise quote to round out a thesis statement, support an argument, or tie that final loose end. It's too easy now to find the quotes, which then become too easy to take out of context. Why bother reading the chapter or entire book to see if a writer actually agrees with your point of view?

The Internet can give you those millions of results in 0.45 seconds. But it cannot summarize the intricate labors of thinkers and writers. For that, schools, homes, and the Internet still needs readers, willing to look deeper than the fast find, willing to turn pages, and get lost at least a few times while trying to figure out what a writer is really trying to say.

Writing: Peeling Bark: manipulating words

The beauty of written communication is the numerous ways to say the same thing by manipulating words and phrases. The power of words to create images, evoke feelings, and change thinking is an endless endeavor.

Some persons write only for personal reasons in journaling or poetry. A friend of mine, Becky, devoted several decades of her 60 year to exploring her life and emotions through small composition notebooks. Stacks of these adorn her coffee table like mini-sculptures of her life. Through poetry and daily reflections, Becky weaves words around her marriage, children, grandchildren, home and emotions much like others knit or quilt personal lives into tangible beauty.

Other writers seek to educate, inform, or entertain through essays, articles, and novels. They reflect more on situations within the larger world, or create for readers unexplored fantasy worlds. Many of these writers become artists using syllables and structure, drawing readers to knowledge of relationships, psychology, and life. They hone each word as a carver creating representations of family, home, and personal life. Futuristic and fantasy writers bring us worlds from outer space to underground cities, from religious settings to barbarian societies tapping our own muscular control over others.

Whether for their own pleasure or to share with an audience, writers pick over words as though perusing vegetables in their store's produce aisle. Orange long yams give an earthier appeal to the brown and dull and rounder red-skinned potatoes that . Broccoli's compact cushions give way to the floppy outer layers of lettuce. Bright yellow stark red peppers contrast to their plump green cousins stacked row upon row. Bright orange carrots poke their slender tips against hard red radishes as though attempting to impale, while sleek dull-yellow and unripened bananas curve upward as though unwilling to intrude on their neighbors. Much like picking vegetables and displaying them, writers stack and align word upon word to within a desired space. Long, plump words fall amongst among shorter, flatter ones, giving our eyes a contrasting mix. Pointed words jab at our senses but cause no injury, while other phrases and word groups simply curve and allow room for others around them. Writers dwell on word choices, peruse dictionaries and Thesaurus like a shopper attracted as much to a vegetable's coloring, the person's palate creates desire, or the shopper's knowledge of each one's benefits. While choices of vegetables enhances physical health, a writer's words enriches the mind, spirit, and Soul.

This Blog offers companionship and help for other writers while it presents my personal and professional work of manipulating words and phrases for my goal to create images, evoke feelings, and change thinking.