Colloquillisms

Mr. Hodges was the cream of the crop in his profession. A little ways away from being the richest man in the county, he was certainly the second richest. However, citizens in the town thought he was a bit touched in the head. They accused him of all sorts of misdeeds, although he swore up an' down that he didn't do any of it. "Jeepers creepers!" Mrs. Crawley shivered, "he gives me the willies!" Rich, handsome, the best catch for the ladies, he existed in a sort of No Man's Land--and no women either. Hodges still attracted some business, although trusted by few.

When Mr. Smytheton arrived on the evening train from the city and offered Hodges a job, Hodges exclaimed, "Holy cow! In a New York minute!"

Smytheton raised a stern eyebrow, reassessing his offer as he stared directly into the younger man's face. "Alrighty then, you've got yourself a deal." The men stood smartly facing each other before shaking hands.

*****

Colloquialisms remain a constant danger to writers. Most common ideas have long been reduced to quick and easily recognized phrases which get overused. Well-worn colloquialisms come to mind faster than a rabbit chased by a fox (faster than a speeding bullet; faster than a supersonic jet; faster than my momma can hit your momma). Entire websites are devoted just to colloquialisms.

Writers must constantly shield their prose from such expressions, while turning ideas into new and (hopefully) powerful imagery. Sometimes while writing though--that first stage of putting thoughts to paper--writers might include trite phrases just to get beyond a block or to prevent an interruption in getting other thoughts written. This is common, and okay. But, it's not okay to leave them in your final product.

The first goal is to check your writing for any type of overused phrases. Collect a list you can use. I like to copy the phrase into Word's "Find" feature and do quick searches. As I check for each, I highlight the phrase on the list with yellow (to signify "none found"). I also add ones I used that are not already on the list. Once convinced I never used any, I felt sheepish to find I'd used "since the dawn of man." With extra thought, I found a slightly different phrase to use.

You'll probably find it hard to come up with your own words, as a fresh image. For example, most people replace "From the beginning of time" or "the dawn of man." Neither are original! Try brainstorming similar-meaning single words first. Such as
dawn
light
bright
beginning
day's light
mankind's light
mankind's beginning

No, none of those really jump off the page, but it's a start. Do the same with "of man" -- you're likely trying to indicate something like "since man took his first breath" or "since humans existed" (How long is that, anyway? Eh, that's a topic for another time). Does "man" or "mankind" appropriate in today's non-sexist language? Possibly not, so try to give it a new twist. If you're writing about children, "man" or "mankind" wouldn't work anyway. So, try to avoid using any words in the colloquialism, if you can. Then, try to form an image that speaks to you.

If you get really stuck and feel like you cannot avoid the colloquialism you've used, you can:

• Search Google for the phrase. Dictionaries or websites often give lists of alternative phrases.
• Search the Thesaurus and just read the lists of words. If one word might fit, check the similar words for it. As you move deeper into words, you might find a not-often used but good alternative.
• Brainstorm with pencil and pen, which seems to activate the brain more than typing on a computer.
• Save all your lists; you might get the start of a new phrase that you can re-work later.
• Call a local college's English department and ask to speak to a professor or Master's level student. They might give ideas how to restructure your original sentence.
• Read the sentence to friends and family. Ask them to put the sentence in their own words, or to brainstorm other phrases.
• Take time away from the mess (er--your writing). Often, ideas come when we use our brains for other tasks. You might get a better idea while washing your car.

Never send a manuscript to publishers without checking for colloquialisms. Make looking for this problem one of your regular editing tasks. Don't leave the ones you find; far better to rewrite the whole sentence than to bore your readers, editor, or publisher.

Of course, if one of your characters only speaks in colloquialisms, you might want to rethink your character's traits!

Incidentally, "colloquialism" is likely one of the most misspelled words in the English lanuage. Just Google your own misspelling -- you'll certainly see thousands of webpages with the same mistakes. It's one I fail constantly. The definition states: "Colloquial language is informal language that is not rude, but would not be used in formal situations. It is less unacceptable than Slang & Swear Words. A colloquialism is an informal expression, that is, an expression not used in formal speech or writing." See http://www.usingenglish.com/glossary/colloquial.html for a "Glossary of English Language Terms."

Judith